Deep breath, Chin high.

Today I woke up feeling all smug about myself... You know for doing the unthinkable, for doing the thing everybody dreams about but don’t end up doing…taking a break from life...

I feel like I have done the stuff that actually requires some balls, and even though half of the population are blest with it, they do not find themselves doing what I have done…walking into the unknown and really not knowing….

This smugness however was very short lived. Extremely short, miniscule really….

And this is why…

As I was walking out of the elevator I met my very traditional 70 year old maharashtrian neighbour. Generally our conversations are pretty standard, meaning they revolve around one single topic of discussion, my marriage, ofcourse!!! Being 27 and unmarried is looked down upon by most 70 year olds I’ve known. Except my grammy, she was the exception to the rule. Coolest, little lady ever!!

So getting back to it, she surprises me with a new topic this time, guess what??? Are you unemployed? What happened? Why are you sitting at home and not working? And finally inorder not to cause any disappointments are you getting married? So for the preparation you’re at home, if that’s it then it is ok… phew!!!!  She was rather worried about me when I told her, I was just taking a break and no it was not so that I could plan a perfect wedding. The concept seemed alien to her.

Is everyone fixated on the future? Work ourselves into a pulp so that we may score well in our appraisal and even maybe get nominated for the promotion next year. Why are we so desperate to ensure a better future? Do we realise that we waltz by our present, our today, So that we may have a better tomorrow. And who is guaranteeing that tomorrow eh??? Ask yourself that ever?  Is it your soul sucking boss who guarantees that? Or your dimwit supervisor whose brain has probably never been defrosted since the offset of the ice age?

With these questions in mind I floated into the market for my daily dose of bargaining, screaming and most importantly refilling my fridge. Staying at home actually gives you so much opportunity to feed yourself at the right intervals or I should rather say at whatever part of the day you would like to be fed, it’s unbelievable. I couldn’t even get myself to eat breakfast earlier, now I practically eat 7 meals a day. Not all small, definitely not all healthy…. Sigh! Now that I’ve heard myself say it out loud, it sounds wrong. So this is my take away for today…eat fewer meals, stay clear of vainee, prioritise present over future, also just because you woke up feeling one way doesn’t mean you will go to bed feeling the same.

Deep breath. Chin high.